Assembling it in one word, one life.

Sometimes, I feel, there is so much inside me that I will never be able to share it, no matter how many words, expressions and thoughts, I share with others. A storm blows in my head, ravaging every sentiment of hope, at times. Life suddenly becomes impossible to handle-- so many things bog me down. It appears as if no matter what I do, I wouldn't be able to assemble it all. A casual remark by the lover lingers in my mind, an off the cuff observation by a senior at work dismantles a self created image of happiness, a statement made in anger by Mom brings tears. The sensitivity levels rip through the roof and I feel I can no longer survive.
At that moment, demons drum in my head, flirting with its fine senses, cajoling me to go further down and attract all the negativity that is ever thrown into the world.

I wonder, how far I can pull on like this..and just at that moment, nature gives me a sign that all shall be fine. I firmly believe in signs and they tell me, I will walk, and walk with a nip of happiness in my gait.
There is one thing that God has given me, only one thing- and that is taking care of myself- nurturing the being that exists--dreams, desires, throbs, thinks and seeks.
And I suffer, when I mute it, with the pressures of the external forces.

Perhaps, I have to remind myself that sometimes, I cannot challenge things and during those times, I should just let the river flow over you. The water plants often survive the floods but not the trees with broad deep trunks and roots.