I saw the eyes
old and sad
looking at me
seeking
the tip of my finger
asking it
to stretch its skin
between their lashes
heavy with the
monsoonal
fatigue.
A caravan of
lullabies
had walked by
last night
and
the eyes
old and sad
remembered
the
sound of
cymbals; the procession
of the Gods and Goddesses
who knew those eyes
through their endless trips
scaling the gopurams
locating
the curves of their bodies
carved by an unknown
soothsayer.
The eyes had walked
through the bodies
scented with the heat
of love procured
over a cup of coffee.
The eyes
old and sad
darted in
and out of bed sheets
And as I lay next to
them
I saw the eyes
old and sad
filling up
with sepia verses
of love,
for the bodies
scribbled
with a farewell note
each day
promising
to turn them young
And each night
bringing them
not their youth
but a body
they saw
carved in the temples
and in the haze
of a smoke filled
room.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
I am the woman
Wrote the following poem after I saw this hauntingly beautiful pic of a friend...
I have eyes
that follow you
till your shadow
leaves you
I have lips
that can count
your smiles
and glances
Abundance
waits on me,
as I wait
for you.
I am the woman
you love,
I am the woman,
I love.
I have eyes
that follow you
till your shadow
leaves you
I have lips
that can count
your smiles
and glances
Abundance
waits on me,
as I wait
for you.
I am the woman
you love,
I am the woman,
I love.
The Night is here...
The night is here,
stretching its skin
over the city
where I was born.
I am the skin
that wears this night
sculpting my body
like the shadows
that have no eyes or ears.
The night is here,
and I see my mother
filling up its empty
crevices with her hands.
She loves the night
imagining itto be her child.
It smells, she says
of her breast milk.
The night is here,
I stand next to the painting
swallowing its million colours
in one breath.
The cobwebs
in my throat
are coloured
by the grey brush
of the painter.
The night is here
and I see lazy rainbow
sprouting from
my nave
lthe chakras of Vishnu
the skulls of Shiva's necklace
the lotus of Brahma
balance my navel
on the other end.
I awake from the dream,
The night is here,
and I see the shadows
walking through me
holding the maps
and the seeds.
A seed plucked
from my father drops
on the map
burning all the boundaries
that were everborn on its body.
The night births me
on that map.
I am born
to the shadows
and the maps.
stretching its skin
over the city
where I was born.
I am the skin
that wears this night
sculpting my body
like the shadows
that have no eyes or ears.
The night is here,
and I see my mother
filling up its empty
crevices with her hands.
She loves the night
imagining itto be her child.
It smells, she says
of her breast milk.
The night is here,
I stand next to the painting
swallowing its million colours
in one breath.
The cobwebs
in my throat
are coloured
by the grey brush
of the painter.
The night is here
and I see lazy rainbow
sprouting from
my nave
lthe chakras of Vishnu
the skulls of Shiva's necklace
the lotus of Brahma
balance my navel
on the other end.
I awake from the dream,
The night is here,
and I see the shadows
walking through me
holding the maps
and the seeds.
A seed plucked
from my father drops
on the map
burning all the boundaries
that were everborn on its body.
The night births me
on that map.
I am born
to the shadows
and the maps.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Supple Colours
I am made of colours.
Colours that are
not red like my blood
or blue like my veins
pale like my skin
or brown like my eyes.
Colours that don't
dry or age.
Colours that
are there on your paint brush.
Colours that were sprinkled,
splashed,
sometimes thrown
casually.
Colours that don’t rinse
and let me see what
I was like
before you coloured me.
Colours
That made my body
a canvas
Colours that made
you a painter.
Colours that are
not red like my blood
or blue like my veins
pale like my skin
or brown like my eyes.
Colours that don't
dry or age.
Colours that
are there on your paint brush.
Colours that were sprinkled,
splashed,
sometimes thrown
casually.
Colours that don’t rinse
and let me see what
I was like
before you coloured me.
Colours
That made my body
a canvas
Colours that made
you a painter.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Obamaaaa or Odrama!
Putting forward an interesting conversation that I had accidentally.
LL at 01:04, on 22 January.
I have to respond to ur status since I absolutely disagree. Maybe it didn't move anyone in India but it certainly moved everyone in the US. " We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. " This was said after the Inauguration was opened by a catholic priest as is always the tradition. Not impactful to you but definitely touched my Jewish acting teacher. Plus why is everyone in India looking for Obama to bring about change? People in the US don't rely on the President/PM of India. We should look for our own leader for change and hope that the rest of the world has great leaders like Obama who can be a fuel to the process while initiating change in their own countries.
Me at 01:11, on 22 January.
Another thing Change is a process not a light switch that you switch on and off. Its not something that will happen overnight.
Lada Singh at 02:48, on 22 January.
LL , just read your comments. I think no one is suggesting/looking for a change in India through Obama. All that, we are trying to say, is that Obama has been rattling off the same thing over and over again. He has spoken about change not how he will bring about the change. US as a secular nation is not a new point brought forward by Obama. We mustn't forget that Obama never used the word Hussein during his campaign. We mustn't also forget that Obama does not represent the actual Black masses--economically and socially. However, he consistently played up the black gene. We mustn't also forget that Obama is an ambitious man and not a saint, America is believing him to be. Yes, what Obama has done to America..none of the contemporary leaders have done to their nations. He has united his country and that is a huge thing to do but how does he plan to sustain it.
Lada Singh at 02:50, on 22 January.
The discussion above was not a reaction to Obama's idea of change but the lack of anything new and substantive or different that we all expected him to be...on his inaugural day. And worry not, we don't want Obama to change things for anyone else, but just correct things gone wrong with the States. :)
LL at 03:12, on 22 January.
Lada, I think the problem with us is that we're constantly looking for something 'new and different' from Obama. Why should anything 'new and different' be mentioned in his inauguration speech. The reason why he was elected was because of his beliefs and ideologies that connected with most of America. And just on day 1 of him being President lets give him the opportunity to enforce what he has believed in first. Thats hotch potch politics in India where promises are met by more promises. About the Hussein topic, Your name on face book is Lada Singh...ur middle name is not used as well . And most people don't use it unless its for documentation purposes. Why is no fuss being made about Joe Biden not using his middle name or John McCain or Sarah Palin. And even if it was strategicialy avoided its a good thing because America was definitely not ready for a Muslim president. I know quite a few who were turned off by Obama's middle name being Hussein.
LL at 03:20, on 22 January.
Cont... An African American contesting was a challenge in itself. And I guess its one step at a time.About the Change that Obama would bring about...his policies to initiate that change and the medium to go about the same are clearly drafted and available both on his website and were made known by him during the 3 presedential debates where he and McCain discussed and debated on almost all policies from foreign affairs to the environment. His plan supporting his ideologies was laid out. Thats why America voted for him. A inauguration speech to a nation is not the place to discuss action plans especially when they're laid out already instead it is to instill faith in a nation that lost hope with its last president.
LL at 03:21, on 22 January.
ignore the typos...lol
Me at 03:30, on 22 January.
LL , Not new or different but substantive. That's the crux. On Nov 4 night he says, "Change has come to America". Really? Was that the case?An inaugural address is a blueprint of a leader's vision, not a repeated dose of hope,change and blah. No one is taking away the time factor from him. He has four years with him. The reference to Obama speech boring is our personal opinion. As for your comments about Indian politicians making promises,Politicians are same every where. And you have answered my issue about the Hussein topic. Obama chose not to use the name Hussein because America was not ready for it. Wouldn't it have been more transperant of him, to be proud of his mix culture and gene? As for me using Lada Singh, Its just here on facebook. All my programs on television or my books and articles carry the full name..and no, the name doesn't indicate a different religion, which is a case with Barak Hussein Obama.
LL at 03:31, on 22 January.
I'm also not sure what u mean by Obama not representing the African American masses economically and socially?...Pls elaborate on what u think is the 'African American masses'? I hope its not the same assumption that majority of people in India lives below the poverty line hence A.R.Rahman doesn't represent India?In anycase Obama may be rich now but he did come from a poor family. Before his book the Audacity of Hope was published he hardly had money and it was his earnings from the book that got him started though yet not enough for the presedential race. Remember Bill Clinton questioning the same when Obama was running against Hillary. He called Obama's chances something that only happens in fairy tales then and (while I think Bill Clinton was a fab prez), Obama proved him wrong.
Me at 03:34, on 22 January.
I see your point and I agree with it. But, when we talk of policies etc, we have an Obama team of veterans in place. The leader is fresh and new. Yes, he has a chance to create history and I am positive he will, but the issue here, is about the speech being boring. And yes, it was terribly boring. :) American voting patterns indicated a 90% black vote, plus the fact that Clinton pitched in to. The age factor too contributed a great deal. I am not taking anything away from Obama. But America voted for him because of heart not head. There is nothing wrong, but not every thing is right about it either.
Me at 03:44, on 22 January.
Obama's mother only took care of him for a short time. Most of his life he lived with his grandmother, who was an executive at a bank, his grandfather, owned his own successfull chain of furniture stores. His moms parents were not poor, perhaps not ultra wealthy but certainly upper middle class. Obama's father was also a well-to-do college student from Kenya (that's how they met.). His grandfather was an Arab slave trader in Africa (neither were sheepherders as he is fond of saying). Obama went to college & law school through affirmative action. It was all written about last year in Time & Newsweek magazines as well as other periodicals.In the face of above, Obama was not an ideal Afro American, west has painted him to be. His issues with drugs did not come out of poverty but out of lack of direction. As for his nominations, I wouldn't want to get into the details of Florida and Michigan Primary Controversies.
Me at 03:45, on 22 January.Cont...
As for Bill C comment, All I would say is that there was a Michelle O comment too..about how she finally felt proud of America...(( coz her husband was running for President!!) People do say things...I still am positive about Obama but yes, the speech was boring! :P
================
The debate is still on...
LL at 01:04, on 22 January.
I have to respond to ur status since I absolutely disagree. Maybe it didn't move anyone in India but it certainly moved everyone in the US. " We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. " This was said after the Inauguration was opened by a catholic priest as is always the tradition. Not impactful to you but definitely touched my Jewish acting teacher. Plus why is everyone in India looking for Obama to bring about change? People in the US don't rely on the President/PM of India. We should look for our own leader for change and hope that the rest of the world has great leaders like Obama who can be a fuel to the process while initiating change in their own countries.
Me at 01:11, on 22 January.
Another thing Change is a process not a light switch that you switch on and off. Its not something that will happen overnight.
Lada Singh at 02:48, on 22 January.
LL , just read your comments. I think no one is suggesting/looking for a change in India through Obama. All that, we are trying to say, is that Obama has been rattling off the same thing over and over again. He has spoken about change not how he will bring about the change. US as a secular nation is not a new point brought forward by Obama. We mustn't forget that Obama never used the word Hussein during his campaign. We mustn't also forget that Obama does not represent the actual Black masses--economically and socially. However, he consistently played up the black gene. We mustn't also forget that Obama is an ambitious man and not a saint, America is believing him to be. Yes, what Obama has done to America..none of the contemporary leaders have done to their nations. He has united his country and that is a huge thing to do but how does he plan to sustain it.
Lada Singh at 02:50, on 22 January.
The discussion above was not a reaction to Obama's idea of change but the lack of anything new and substantive or different that we all expected him to be...on his inaugural day. And worry not, we don't want Obama to change things for anyone else, but just correct things gone wrong with the States. :)
LL at 03:12, on 22 January.
Lada, I think the problem with us is that we're constantly looking for something 'new and different' from Obama. Why should anything 'new and different' be mentioned in his inauguration speech. The reason why he was elected was because of his beliefs and ideologies that connected with most of America. And just on day 1 of him being President lets give him the opportunity to enforce what he has believed in first. Thats hotch potch politics in India where promises are met by more promises. About the Hussein topic, Your name on face book is Lada Singh...ur middle name is not used as well . And most people don't use it unless its for documentation purposes. Why is no fuss being made about Joe Biden not using his middle name or John McCain or Sarah Palin. And even if it was strategicialy avoided its a good thing because America was definitely not ready for a Muslim president. I know quite a few who were turned off by Obama's middle name being Hussein.
LL at 03:20, on 22 January.
Cont... An African American contesting was a challenge in itself. And I guess its one step at a time.About the Change that Obama would bring about...his policies to initiate that change and the medium to go about the same are clearly drafted and available both on his website and were made known by him during the 3 presedential debates where he and McCain discussed and debated on almost all policies from foreign affairs to the environment. His plan supporting his ideologies was laid out. Thats why America voted for him. A inauguration speech to a nation is not the place to discuss action plans especially when they're laid out already instead it is to instill faith in a nation that lost hope with its last president.
LL at 03:21, on 22 January.
ignore the typos...lol
Me at 03:30, on 22 January.
LL , Not new or different but substantive. That's the crux. On Nov 4 night he says, "Change has come to America". Really? Was that the case?An inaugural address is a blueprint of a leader's vision, not a repeated dose of hope,change and blah. No one is taking away the time factor from him. He has four years with him. The reference to Obama speech boring is our personal opinion. As for your comments about Indian politicians making promises,Politicians are same every where. And you have answered my issue about the Hussein topic. Obama chose not to use the name Hussein because America was not ready for it. Wouldn't it have been more transperant of him, to be proud of his mix culture and gene? As for me using Lada Singh, Its just here on facebook. All my programs on television or my books and articles carry the full name..and no, the name doesn't indicate a different religion, which is a case with Barak Hussein Obama.
LL at 03:31, on 22 January.
I'm also not sure what u mean by Obama not representing the African American masses economically and socially?...Pls elaborate on what u think is the 'African American masses'? I hope its not the same assumption that majority of people in India lives below the poverty line hence A.R.Rahman doesn't represent India?In anycase Obama may be rich now but he did come from a poor family. Before his book the Audacity of Hope was published he hardly had money and it was his earnings from the book that got him started though yet not enough for the presedential race. Remember Bill Clinton questioning the same when Obama was running against Hillary. He called Obama's chances something that only happens in fairy tales then and (while I think Bill Clinton was a fab prez), Obama proved him wrong.
Me at 03:34, on 22 January.
I see your point and I agree with it. But, when we talk of policies etc, we have an Obama team of veterans in place. The leader is fresh and new. Yes, he has a chance to create history and I am positive he will, but the issue here, is about the speech being boring. And yes, it was terribly boring. :) American voting patterns indicated a 90% black vote, plus the fact that Clinton pitched in to. The age factor too contributed a great deal. I am not taking anything away from Obama. But America voted for him because of heart not head. There is nothing wrong, but not every thing is right about it either.
Me at 03:44, on 22 January.
Obama's mother only took care of him for a short time. Most of his life he lived with his grandmother, who was an executive at a bank, his grandfather, owned his own successfull chain of furniture stores. His moms parents were not poor, perhaps not ultra wealthy but certainly upper middle class. Obama's father was also a well-to-do college student from Kenya (that's how they met.). His grandfather was an Arab slave trader in Africa (neither were sheepherders as he is fond of saying). Obama went to college & law school through affirmative action. It was all written about last year in Time & Newsweek magazines as well as other periodicals.In the face of above, Obama was not an ideal Afro American, west has painted him to be. His issues with drugs did not come out of poverty but out of lack of direction. As for his nominations, I wouldn't want to get into the details of Florida and Michigan Primary Controversies.
Me at 03:45, on 22 January.Cont...
As for Bill C comment, All I would say is that there was a Michelle O comment too..about how she finally felt proud of America...(( coz her husband was running for President!!) People do say things...I still am positive about Obama but yes, the speech was boring! :P
================
The debate is still on...
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
I have a dream made of Navarasa
I dont wish for any one particular emotion/sentiment to rule my life. I don't aspire for one kind of state of mind..I seek all colours of emotions-- the good, the bad and the ugly...so that I can live with all intensity...with all the joy and the pain...that comes with a life lived on one's terms, one's judgement and without any apologies. It's an acceptance that while we may aspire to be white or black, grey, brown,blue,yellow,red,maroon are the colours that really define us!
Look at Krsna...He embodied everything that was human-- that was attainable and yet because he had the abundance of everything, he became a super human being.
Incidentally, as I am writing this, I am hearing Keshavya Namaha from Bombay Jayshri's album Shravanam. Ironic? Perhaps, inspiring.
Look at Krsna...He embodied everything that was human-- that was attainable and yet because he had the abundance of everything, he became a super human being.
Incidentally, as I am writing this, I am hearing Keshavya Namaha from Bombay Jayshri's album Shravanam. Ironic? Perhaps, inspiring.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Assembling it in one word, one life.
Sometimes, I feel, there is so much inside me that I will never be able to share it, no matter how many words, expressions and thoughts, I share with others. A storm blows in my head, ravaging every sentiment of hope, at times. Life suddenly becomes impossible to handle-- so many things bog me down. It appears as if no matter what I do, I wouldn't be able to assemble it all. A casual remark by the lover lingers in my mind, an off the cuff observation by a senior at work dismantles a self created image of happiness, a statement made in anger by Mom brings tears. The sensitivity levels rip through the roof and I feel I can no longer survive.
At that moment, demons drum in my head, flirting with its fine senses, cajoling me to go further down and attract all the negativity that is ever thrown into the world.
I wonder, how far I can pull on like this..and just at that moment, nature gives me a sign that all shall be fine. I firmly believe in signs and they tell me, I will walk, and walk with a nip of happiness in my gait.
There is one thing that God has given me, only one thing- and that is taking care of myself- nurturing the being that exists--dreams, desires, throbs, thinks and seeks.
And I suffer, when I mute it, with the pressures of the external forces.
Perhaps, I have to remind myself that sometimes, I cannot challenge things and during those times, I should just let the river flow over you. The water plants often survive the floods but not the trees with broad deep trunks and roots.
At that moment, demons drum in my head, flirting with its fine senses, cajoling me to go further down and attract all the negativity that is ever thrown into the world.
I wonder, how far I can pull on like this..and just at that moment, nature gives me a sign that all shall be fine. I firmly believe in signs and they tell me, I will walk, and walk with a nip of happiness in my gait.
There is one thing that God has given me, only one thing- and that is taking care of myself- nurturing the being that exists--dreams, desires, throbs, thinks and seeks.
And I suffer, when I mute it, with the pressures of the external forces.
Perhaps, I have to remind myself that sometimes, I cannot challenge things and during those times, I should just let the river flow over you. The water plants often survive the floods but not the trees with broad deep trunks and roots.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Crying Baby
Sharing a chat with a friend....
Lada: why the pic of a cryin baby?
*****: the world has done this to her :)
Lada: The world will always do, what it has to...but God didnt create the baby to cry...if that was the purpose, why would God create yet another crying girl... There is a purpose and its not crying...:) The Baby has to find that purpose..and understand who is more important--The God..who created her...or the world who made her cry.
===========
My friend had put a pic of a crying baby and that led me to question her. I often wonder, why and how we lose the track of our journey. Our journey to reach that one point for which we were born. When I look back, at my life, I realise that I was surely created for some purpose. Yes, I am turning 26 and am yet to find that purpose, but I know it is there. And for the one who created me-- The God, My Mom and Dad-- For the ones who nurtured me-- My mom, My sister, My friends, my lovers, my mentors... I cannot, just cannot give up on myself.
Why must I, when there are so many who have faith in me...why must I, when the one moment in which I was created, the powers that be, knew that I was going to come..and they let that happen.
I came here, because I had to, I will leave, because I have to...but not before I survive..
We are not marked to die, we are marked to survive.
Lada: why the pic of a cryin baby?
*****: the world has done this to her :)
Lada: The world will always do, what it has to...but God didnt create the baby to cry...if that was the purpose, why would God create yet another crying girl... There is a purpose and its not crying...:) The Baby has to find that purpose..and understand who is more important--The God..who created her...or the world who made her cry.
===========
My friend had put a pic of a crying baby and that led me to question her. I often wonder, why and how we lose the track of our journey. Our journey to reach that one point for which we were born. When I look back, at my life, I realise that I was surely created for some purpose. Yes, I am turning 26 and am yet to find that purpose, but I know it is there. And for the one who created me-- The God, My Mom and Dad-- For the ones who nurtured me-- My mom, My sister, My friends, my lovers, my mentors... I cannot, just cannot give up on myself.
Why must I, when there are so many who have faith in me...why must I, when the one moment in which I was created, the powers that be, knew that I was going to come..and they let that happen.
I came here, because I had to, I will leave, because I have to...but not before I survive..
We are not marked to die, we are marked to survive.
The Phone Beeps.
The phone beeps.
Another missed call
enters my mind.
The phone beeps
An SMS arrives.
I know it's you
on the other side
But it's not me
any more.
Another missed call
enters my mind.
The phone beeps
An SMS arrives.
I know it's you
on the other side
But it's not me
any more.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Multiple Worlds
I live in multiple worlds.
Others thrive in my multiple worlds.
Each world, has a different story of creation.
Different characters for different worlds.
I play with them,
sometimes holding them by their cheeks
and ears,
sometimes fiddling with someone's cleft...
and many times,
setting a game of hide and seek in action...
among them.
Do I wish to be God?
I know not.
My mother says
I am an unfair person.
Perhaps, I am.
She too soundslike a crowd to me.
A crowd inside
that wakes me up
every morning
with a thumping sound.
I don't know where it all began,
when I brought
the first mask
and
the first ropes
for the many puppets
that came my way.
Others thrive in my multiple worlds.
Each world, has a different story of creation.
Different characters for different worlds.
I play with them,
sometimes holding them by their cheeks
and ears,
sometimes fiddling with someone's cleft...
and many times,
setting a game of hide and seek in action...
among them.
Do I wish to be God?
I know not.
My mother says
I am an unfair person.
Perhaps, I am.
She too soundslike a crowd to me.
A crowd inside
that wakes me up
every morning
with a thumping sound.
I don't know where it all began,
when I brought
the first mask
and
the first ropes
for the many puppets
that came my way.
Monday, January 05, 2009
What do I want from 2009?
What do I really want from 2009? Or may be what can I give 2009? I ponder, what can I give... what all I can give to this year...a part of me that I no longer need, a dream I no longer care for, a journey I don't want to go to and still, I want to give words, a mouthful of words to this year...so that when this year looks back at me, it knows that I spoke and wrote my heart out on it, scribbled the crevices of my dreams to smoothen the edges of this year....
I dream
to return
what was gifted
to me
by all the years
that have gone by
Some of the years that I remember fondly...madly...passionately....the years that took everything away from me and the years that gave me everything....
1989-- My first ever on stage Bharatanatyam performance, my first ever interview in Hindustan Times
I met Arshiya Sethi...who became a guide through my trying times...
1993--My Arangetrum
1994- My God father's death
1993,4,5-- Years I was drenced in dance
1999- Didi got married...a step that was to take our family through a whirlwind of events and emotions for next 8 years...
1999-2003- College Years....Friends-- Pragati, Namrita, Deeksha, Kaustuv, Sunit, Nandini, Vidu...People who left a deep impact on my life....some changed it forever...some left me...for good... They stood by me through my most trying times...
2000-- My first ever article appeared in Indian Express...
2001--I remember, Didi's dreadful call...my friends making a cover around me in college..and me crying my guts out....Didi's pain turned me into a poet...a poet riddled with violence...]
Didi came to India..on a wheelchair...it broke me completely...
---My first book of poems...Split Ends... was released...the rush of introducing it to the audience is still fresh in my blood...
2002--Got close to Shanta Serbjeet Singh...My mentor in the world of arts...Learned a great deal from her....The relationship of the mentor with her protege...reached its height in 2005-06.
I was nominated for Rolex Mentor protege Arts initiative...missed it coz I was under age...a loss that ripped me....made me insecure....more than ever...I was lost...
My second book came out...Where Must I go...?
2003--Didi got divorced
Supriya entered my life...My best friend, my confidant, my soul mirror....
I fell in love for the first time....the madness and passion that followed....drove me mad....
Shubha, Polly, Neerja...entered my life...and brought with them abundance....
2004-- Subbudu called and said, Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan wanetd to publish his biography...The year took me to my most spectacular journey into the world of arts--- I was sold to words...sold to the 89 year old man...His words ring my heart....You will go far Lada...I dig each word...today...I dig it...
He gave away his identity--His column in the Statesman of 54 years to me....I became the youngest columnist on art and culture...
2005-- The release of Subbudu's biography... My third book, Beyond Destiny: The Life and Times of Subbudu...
My column in The Statesman had become a rage...fetching me compliments and brickbats from the high and the mighty...
Went to Jordan to attend the World Culture Summit...youngest member again..it filled me with pride...
Got involved with ICCR's ambitious plan to have WCF in Delhi...in 2008
Mom's professional crisis began...
2006-- SNA invited me to become the guest editor for a special issue on Healing Through Arts with Special Reference to Tsunami Victims...The Issue was a sold out...
Mom's professional crisis became seriosus...and I put on hold every thing that was going on in my life...Every thing stopped for me...Still don't know where I got the courage to do all that I did...
2007--Subbudu died..and left a deep vacuum in my heart that will never be filled...I still remember my last meeting ..2 days before he died... He was sleeping...Suddenly he woke up and without muttering placed his hand on my head... Where did he get that energy from? I will never know the answer to that....His eyes closed, his hand on my head....I seek that hand every time, I feel naked...my soul feels naked...
Mom's Professional Crisis ended...I resumed my professional life...
Joined Headlines Today...a move that was going to change a lot of things in my life..
Didi got re married....
I joined NDTV and left it...re joined HT
2008--Continued with HT...bumped into my mentor Rukmini...realised how empty I was in so many ways...She helped me become a better being--professionally and personally...Sometimes hated her for bringing a change in me...in something that I thought was perfect...till I realised how imperfect I was...
Fell in love big time...my most serious relationship so far...a move that forced me to re-evaluate my most immediate relationships...
2009-- Let's see..what you have to offer...
I dream
to return
what was gifted
to me
by all the years
that have gone by
Some of the years that I remember fondly...madly...passionately....the years that took everything away from me and the years that gave me everything....
1989-- My first ever on stage Bharatanatyam performance, my first ever interview in Hindustan Times
I met Arshiya Sethi...who became a guide through my trying times...
1993--My Arangetrum
1994- My God father's death
1993,4,5-- Years I was drenced in dance
1999- Didi got married...a step that was to take our family through a whirlwind of events and emotions for next 8 years...
1999-2003- College Years....Friends-- Pragati, Namrita, Deeksha, Kaustuv, Sunit, Nandini, Vidu...People who left a deep impact on my life....some changed it forever...some left me...for good... They stood by me through my most trying times...
2000-- My first ever article appeared in Indian Express...
2001--I remember, Didi's dreadful call...my friends making a cover around me in college..and me crying my guts out....Didi's pain turned me into a poet...a poet riddled with violence...]
Didi came to India..on a wheelchair...it broke me completely...
---My first book of poems...Split Ends... was released...the rush of introducing it to the audience is still fresh in my blood...
2002--Got close to Shanta Serbjeet Singh...My mentor in the world of arts...Learned a great deal from her....The relationship of the mentor with her protege...reached its height in 2005-06.
I was nominated for Rolex Mentor protege Arts initiative...missed it coz I was under age...a loss that ripped me....made me insecure....more than ever...I was lost...
My second book came out...Where Must I go...?
2003--Didi got divorced
Supriya entered my life...My best friend, my confidant, my soul mirror....
I fell in love for the first time....the madness and passion that followed....drove me mad....
Shubha, Polly, Neerja...entered my life...and brought with them abundance....
2004-- Subbudu called and said, Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan wanetd to publish his biography...The year took me to my most spectacular journey into the world of arts--- I was sold to words...sold to the 89 year old man...His words ring my heart....You will go far Lada...I dig each word...today...I dig it...
He gave away his identity--His column in the Statesman of 54 years to me....I became the youngest columnist on art and culture...
2005-- The release of Subbudu's biography... My third book, Beyond Destiny: The Life and Times of Subbudu...
My column in The Statesman had become a rage...fetching me compliments and brickbats from the high and the mighty...
Went to Jordan to attend the World Culture Summit...youngest member again..it filled me with pride...
Got involved with ICCR's ambitious plan to have WCF in Delhi...in 2008
Mom's professional crisis began...
2006-- SNA invited me to become the guest editor for a special issue on Healing Through Arts with Special Reference to Tsunami Victims...The Issue was a sold out...
Mom's professional crisis became seriosus...and I put on hold every thing that was going on in my life...Every thing stopped for me...Still don't know where I got the courage to do all that I did...
2007--Subbudu died..and left a deep vacuum in my heart that will never be filled...I still remember my last meeting ..2 days before he died... He was sleeping...Suddenly he woke up and without muttering placed his hand on my head... Where did he get that energy from? I will never know the answer to that....His eyes closed, his hand on my head....I seek that hand every time, I feel naked...my soul feels naked...
Mom's Professional Crisis ended...I resumed my professional life...
Joined Headlines Today...a move that was going to change a lot of things in my life..
Didi got re married....
I joined NDTV and left it...re joined HT
2008--Continued with HT...bumped into my mentor Rukmini...realised how empty I was in so many ways...She helped me become a better being--professionally and personally...Sometimes hated her for bringing a change in me...in something that I thought was perfect...till I realised how imperfect I was...
Fell in love big time...my most serious relationship so far...a move that forced me to re-evaluate my most immediate relationships...
2009-- Let's see..what you have to offer...
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